@0th Reunion

This was so bizarre!!! Seeing all the girls again was fantastic. Thought you might laugh Noelle you are next up at the old OHS reunion scene. Yes, we may be pushing 40 but hey we still have each other.

Football Report

Jackson is about a month into his season games. He is having a great time as a middle linebacker. Team is great, coaches awesome, teammates are fun and he tells me after practice everyday-"I told you football is better than swimming." He was picked to be Captain at the last game against Oakmont ( It was strange cheering for Del Oro). This Saturday he plays Granite Bay. Mo has decided that he definately wants to play next year.

Otcober is here, and that means we have to have pumpkins and costumes according to JJ. So before school today we went and bought some pumpkins, we needed 5 he said -one for every kid and one for Zoey. JJ will be a cow this year. He already has his costume and tried it out on Sept 16th by trick or treating our street. He came home with a lot of unusual treats (our nieghbors are good sports).

Celebrations End

Carson and JJ had a big weekend. They had a party on Friday to celebrate the big birthday. Family, friends, and Zoey made it to the party to eat, swim and get tattoos (of Elmo, Cookie Monster, or the Grouch). JJ was very into opening the presents and eating cake. Carson liked being sung to and so the party goers made his day by singing to him no less than three times "Happy Birthday to Carson!" It was fabulous having CoCoKK fly up to celebrate with all of us. Even Mr. Pickle came to the party to deliver sandwiches. Thanks to everyone who came and made this day so special.

Dreams come true

Jackson gets his Bulldog after years of waiting! Zoey Lucy Seal.

Jackson won! That is right he is playing football this year, I tried and tried to convince him to swim but he simply stated No! I will play football.

My dog's name is Zoey. She is a lazy dog but at night she gets fired up. She snores super loud.She is really cute.Zoey likes not to take bathes.I love my bulldog. --Jackson

Carson & JJ's 4th Birthday is FINALLY here......

Today is July 29th. Not any July 29th. I have been waiting for this day since January 2005, that is when I was informed that July 29th (marking their 4 th B-Day) was to be our mark. A milestone accomplishment, a beginning, of new hope. "Resounding clear in my head was the words of the Doctors, ' If they make it to the age of 4 their odds of making it to adulthood and living to a typical lifespan greatly increases dramatically'".

I have heard this over and over in my head for the past 3 1/2+ years. Each birthday came and went as a mark of accomplishment but we still had another year or so to go.

Birthday #1 was marked with distance. The boys were living in separate cities, our time with them was split. and though I enjoyed my time with them this day it was heart wrenching for me. As I sat alone in San Fransisco with JJ to eat his first birthday cake and wonder if there would be a second birthday.I asked the nurses to come in and eat some cake as well to keep the silence from being so deafening. JJ could feel the air in the room was different that day. I watched his birthday balloons hanging above his crib and thought this child needs more....not gifts on this day but fresh air, happy smiles, his brothers and father who love him. He deserves life, to touch, feel, and be...the ability to be free of this isolation and loneliness. Instead he shared his first birthday with a mother full of fear, and sadness wanting to make it better, but unable to do anything more that share in the listening of the concert of beeps coming from the monitors, reminding me that life can be fleeting and the moment I had before me was just for him and me. I sang him Happy Birthday a number of times. Sometimes I would sit him up on my lap and it it cheerfully, other times rocking him in mt arms and singing the words softly as though the whisper in his ear was our secret. Hours clicked on, I would stare at the clock, feeling guilty for not being with the other boys, but more guilty to get up and go. As the time rolled on JJ sensed I was to leave. He had been through this many, many times before. His mother coming and going as nurses and strangers would care for him in my absence. Time was in that room clicking away with the monitors by his sides. I wanted to be alone with him, I knew this day would playback in my memory whether as a birthday memory with my son, or as the only birthday of my son.

It became time to leave, I had a 2+ hour drive ahead of me. I had kept him awake the majority of the day. Usually to make me feel better, I would wear him out put on some music for company and leave as he slept comfortably. That was not what was to be this day. I sat in my rocking chair and stared at JJ laying on his tummy in his crib, his balloons floating gently with the air conditioner unit. Our eyes deadlocked and we stared, I sang along to the CD, and he was not going to sleep today. It was his day. He continued to stare at me, I continued to sing to him the songs as they came. Our eyes were locked. Fighting any notion to sleep, or rest,he stared. Today was not going to be like the other days, he seemed to say, with you playing that cruel trick of putting me to bed and then to awaken on my own...alone. That was not going to happen today, JJ stared at me. As he stared I felt him say stay with me mommy it is my birthday. So we continued our stare down while the music played. And I knew we were no longer alone in that room. The room was full of a birthday party, not a themed one with streamers and horns, but full of loved ones to wish JJ well, and a Redeemer's love so strong I began to feel that I too was home...Later I convinced myself this love and presence would stay as I left, though I did call in a nurse to continue patting his back. I kissed my fingers and stroked his head, and we promised each other we would be together and with Carson the next year.

So today on July 29th, I will sneak in their rooms and kiss them gently on the heads knowing we made it to this 4th birthday and our chances of doing this for a lifetime have dramatically gone up.

JJ......what else can we say

JJ almost never goes by JJ at this time. He is either referred to as a type of animal, Blue, Scooby-Doo, Tom, Bob, Corn Dog or J Dog. His cousin Christian calls him J Dog Man. If you ask him who his twin is he will always say Jackson and then inform you that Mo and Carson are twins. We think he will be a hairdresser because he is NEVER shy about telling anyone and everyone what he thinks of their hair (esp. if he doesn't like your style). He is fabulous at speaking his mind, making friends, and telling you that "You are Wonderful." He is the first one up every morning and will tell you he needs a hug and a kiss. His language and social skills are literally amazing considering he was isolated for 2 1/2 years. He has been telling us a lot lately about how that time in the hospital really was for him. Now he finds the hospital fun because he can push his own IV pole. We are thrilled to announce that he graduated out of early intervention this year and will start in a normal school next year. He is hysterical-but he really talks a lot, on and on, and on he will talk. He calls himself "Mom's Little Buddy." He has planned his birthday party and does not want it to be with Carson, "He can have his own party" -everyone can come but he will tell you what to bring him for the present.